‘So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.’ (Genesis 1:27)
From the beginning, there has been glory in womanhood, in body and soul, in strength and softness, and in motherhood. Not one single ounce of womens’ dignity depends on the recognition or the approval of man. Its rooted in the dignity of God himself.
Only someone unsure of their dignity and equality would spend their energy trying to measure it in a thousand little interactions with men. From measuring glances, adjusting posture, watching for signs of being seen or overlooked. As if the dignity and equality of a woman is so fragile and immaterial that it could be diminished by or extracted from other people.
I genuinely think married men have very little awareness of the equality wars that wage within their wives, even if they’re familiar with some of the discourse from the occasional domestic struggle session. I imagine most men would be confused if they knew that a woman was looking to them to affirm their worth. As far as I can see, men usually just walk in their dignity and assume you do the same. You are his equal, and the possibility that you wouldn’t think that that’s a given would probably never cross his mind.
Women, wives and mothers don’t need to be seen by men to be secure. It’s utterly futile to look to a human for something God has already given. Looking to men for approval, whether by subtly fishing for affirmation or scoring power-play points only puts you under men’s control. And reinforces the need for more. Ultimately, it will be a constant disappointment or a constant battle, because no person, no system, no institution and no community can ever give you the dignity you were were already created with.
On the other hand, a woman who assumes her dignity doesn’t need to control how others perceive her. She is free. Freed from looking around to others to fill her cup. Free to pour herself out in love without a weighing scales to see if its being replenished at the same rate by the affirmation of others. Womanhood, particularly motherhood - is sacrificial but it isn’t fragile, subject to the ebb and flow of the perception and applause of others. It is sturdy and self-possessing, intended to be a blessing to the world.
Strength and dignity are her clothing. (Proverbs 31:25)
Not insecurity.
And in interactions with other women - they don’t need pity, flattery or condescension. God has already given us what we need.
A final encouragement for the women who fear the Lord and not man:
‘She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
“Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.”
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.’
(Proverbs 31:25-30)
Beautiful!